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Year of the blog: Day #29 - Toxic People

January 31st, 2018

Day #29


They was a forgiver.

Their heart was so large that they didn't know how to give up on people,  because they always believed in the good of those they loved. It wasn't until they were walked on one too many times, that they had no choice but to let go of those who burned holes in their heart. Experience taught them, hurt raised them, neither defined them.

Sometimes, the ones that are supposed to protect you from monsters are the monsters.

It takes an undeniable amount of courage and strength to walk away from toxicity. It is not strengthening your relationship by staying in something toxic. You are not stronger people. It is not love. It is toxic. Fighting everyday is not passionate love. It is toxic. Being with someone purely because you've been together a long time is not strong. It is toxic. You are not more enlighten because you stay together. It is toxic. You are killing your psyche. Think of it as a dinner table, and you are being fed food that is not edible. You cough, sputter and even choke on what you are being fed. You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served. What I mean to say is that you are allowed to terminate toxic relationships, whether romantic, family or friendships. You do not owe an explanation to anyone for taking care of yourself. Not ever.

Then there is healing after going through the torment of toxicity, and sometimes, it can be just as messy. Healing is messy. It's alienation. It's detachment. It's terrifying. It's jet black inky darkness. It makes you ache for the void and the mundane. You want to quit everything. But you can't. You won't. Not now, not ever. Even though it aches like the mother of all aches, you've changed. Underneath all of the turmoil, there you are. Brand new. Born again. A warrior ready to take on the world. You aren't about to turn back now. There are more JUST like you out there. Well, not quite like you, but in a similar position. At their crossroads. We are all waking up right next to you in the dark. Don't worry about fixing any part of you. You aren't the one that needs to change. No, you just need to find your foundation again. But you do not have to do this alone. You are never alone.

- M

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